"Ethics are essential today in the business world,” explained Mr. Merriam. “They’re also vital inside and outside of the classroom.”
“Pepperdine has always been all about its ethics code, and now I’m here to make sure it’s enforced!”
Wandering the halls, hammer in hand, Mr. Merriman vows to never waver from his mission to stomp out unethical behavior wherever he finds it.
“Over the past few months Pepperdine has been repeatedly rocked by scandal: Presidential abuses of power, the investment challenge fiasco, the list goes on. Someone had to take a stand.”
“Things are going to change on this campus now that the VCLL Avenger is in town. Just today I wrote up two people for IMing in class and busted Matt Atkinson for not eating his vegetables.”
“I also dropped the hammer on a car that took up two parking places. That’ll show ‘em!”
When asked what was number one on his hit list, Mr. Merriam scowled and snarled.
“Gossip! I hate it! Mostly because I’m never a part of it, but that’s beside the point. Untruth has no place at Pepperdine! Just the other day I caught Alana Turhoff dishing false information about Jason Faught’s mysterious girlfriend, saying she was some young tall thing.”
“Well, let me tell you, I set things right! I did some digging and can state for a fact that Jason’s girlfriend is *over* 18 and *under* 4 foot 6!”
“Like they say, sunshine is the best disinfectant!”
(When approached for a rebuttal to these allegations, Mr. Faught began blushing furiously and refused to comment.)
Mr. Merriman acknowledges that he has his work cut out for him in the next several weeks.
"The VCLL Avenger has a lot of things to set right before graduation: Talking in class, eating in the library, and the big problem of mattress tags being removed in the dormitories.”
When asked how he will find time to complete these daunting tasks, he chuckled and winked before replying.
“Well, let’s just say that after The Avenger alleged some unethical behavior by certain members of the Administration, he doesn’t have to take any more classes! Woo hoo! It’s all about working the system!”
Mr. Merriman is currently accepting anonymous tips via email.
1 comment:
I am now finally...famous!
I hope that with my newfound notoriety I can get into all of the celebrity hotspots. I plan on shouting out,"You know who I am!" As I walk into Villa this weekend, right by Wilder Valderamma and Frankie Munoz.
Long Live Gossip Boy,
Atkinson
P.S. Does anybody know whatever happened to gossipgirl? Was she assinated?
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