After the success of the Golf Etiquette Workshop last month, the GSBM is announcing the creation of a new class for the summer term called “Acing Your Surfing Interview.”
“Let’s face it, golf is for inlanders,” quipped Dr. Mallinger. “Being located in Malibu, Pepperdine has a unique advantage in preparing its students for the challenges of surfing interviews.”
“Anyone can do an elevator pitch. But to pitch your idea between the swells, or while you’re standing on an 8 foot wall, that takes real talent.”
“More and more interviews are being done out on the ocean” says Professor Seaman, who will be teaching the class. “You’d be surprised how many CEO’s, CFO’s and other power surfers are out there hunting for talent along with the perfect wave.”
“High tide at Surfrider is rapidly becoming the next power lunch.”
“There’s one legendary group of execs that surfs Zuma every week. When you see the Bentleys with roof racks in the parking lot, you know they’re riding. They call themselves ‘The Chairmen of the Board’ and they’re always hiring.”
“Professor Nooner hangs with them all the time.”
But before students jump in with both feet, Professor Seaman makes sure they know the fundamental rules of surf interview etiquette:
“First of all, be on time! If you come late, you’ll miss your wave. It’s OK to be a little early, but not so much you wind up sitting around for too long. You don’t want to get overexposed because then you’ll get burned.”
“Proper attire is vital, so make sure you dress right. Under no circumstances should you ever wear a Speedo! Surfer Professional all the way. Nothing too loud or flashy. Stick with black neoprene.”
“Go easy on the jewelry too. In addition to sending the wrong message, it also tends to attract sharks.”
“Remember: doing proper research is the key to a successful interview. You gotta know the climate, which way the tide is flowing, and be alert at all times for subtle undercurrents. One wrong move and you’ll totally wipe out.”
“Picking the right lines is vital too. Use the wrong ones and you’ll wind up on the rocks.”
“Always follow the interviewer’s lead. Don’t hog all the waves, and never cut him off. Make sure you have a couple of questions ready too. You can always ask about his footwork or which way he thinks the wind is blowing.”
“Once things get going, stay focused and ride that wave. But don’t show off too much. Remember, you’re not the only one competing for the wave, and no one invites an arrogant surfer to the clubhouse.”
“Most of all, remember that everyone will be watching you closely, so put your best foot forward, even if it makes you look a little Goofy.”
Enrollment is limited to a maximum of 18 students and the class is filling rapidly.
Upon completion of the class, students are automatically eligible to be enrolled in the advanced “Swimming With Sharks” class offered by the Law School and taught by Professor Gia Weisdorn.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
PEPPERJAM: BEHIND THE SCENES
After the rousing success of last week’s Pepperjam talent show, Fly On The Wall finally caught up with Executive Producer Michael Tanenbaum to get the exclusive story about the various acts that didn’t make it into the show.
“Well, naturally we wanted to include everyone,” said Mr. Tanenbaum. “But after watching the try-outs, well, some acts weren’t quite ready for prime time, if you know what I mean.”
“Case in point: Professor Seaman’s tumbling routine. I mean, points for creativity, but he was forward rolling and cartwheeling all over the place. I can’t tell you how many chairs and tables he knocked over. It just wasn’t safe for the audience.”
“Professor Paglia wanted to do standup financial comedy, but that didn’t work so well either. I know he’s been practicing for months, but it was just like being in one of his classes: I kept falling asleep.”
“Rajan Kalra was going to do a hair care demo. His audition was actually really good: he did three frostings, two colorings and a perm in about 10 minutes. He really has a gift for that sort of thing. It’s too bad he pulled a no-show at the last minute. Something about not wanting to miss ‘Lost’.”
“What a shame. I mean, hasn’t he ever heard of TiVo?”
“I had high hopes for Dean Livingstone’s baton twirling. It started really well, but after having to pull that baton out of the ceiling for the third time, I was getting nervous. After nearly decapitating Zach Pond she finally said something about a meeting and left.”
“A little after that, Professor Seaman wandered back in with a big box and started setting up for a new audition. He told me it was a juggling act, and I could already feel the migraine coming on. Then he told me the specifics: it was a *cat* juggling act!”
“Good thing Professor Weisdorn was in the room.”
“Quicker than you can say “What Say You, Sammy?” he was out of there.”
“So there I was, wondering what else could go wrong, and Professor Weisdorn starts talking about her act. I'm trying to focus, but I keep getting distracted by this huge trunk she's dragged in with her. There's something thrashing around inside of it. Whatever’s inside, it’s big and it’s *angry*. Then I hear Professor Weisdorn saying something about alligator wrestling.”
“I made the executive decision right there: No animal acts at Pepperjam!”
“Naturally, she wasn’t too happy about that. But hey, after the incident with Lindsay Lockhart and that shark (“Student Involved in Malibu Shark Attack” 11/21/07), I figured the ASPCA already had us on probation, so we had to watch it. At least that’s what I told Professor Weisdorn.”
“There were a couple of other notable acts after that: Professor Carl Gwin was really psyched to show off his chainsaw art demonstration. But he got a little too enthusiastic with the chainsaw. I don’t want to quote numbers, but let’s just say there’s a line item named “repairs” in the Pepperjam budget.
“Professor Williams planned to rip a phone book in half, but as you can imagine, that didn’t work out too well. He was in traction for a week.”
“Doctor Mallinger wanted to do his interpretive dance routine, but I had to shoot that one down too. And for the record it was because the act ran 34 minutes that I had to say no.”
“The leotard had nothing to do with it. Really.”
When questioned about a rumored third tryout by Professor Seaman, Mr. Tanenbaum first tried to deny its occurrence, but eventually became exasperated and ‘fessed up.
“Okay, okay, you got me. Professor Seaman *did* have a third audition, but we’d filled all the slots by then…or so I told him.”
“Look, I’m not too proud of lying to him, but I had to do it! He wanted to do a magic show and one of his tricks was gonna be sawing somebody in half!”
Pepperjam 2009 is scheduled to be held next March. It is strongly recommended that students decline offers by Professsor Seaman to be his 'assistant' in the show, regardless of the amount of extra credit offered.
“Well, naturally we wanted to include everyone,” said Mr. Tanenbaum. “But after watching the try-outs, well, some acts weren’t quite ready for prime time, if you know what I mean.”
“Case in point: Professor Seaman’s tumbling routine. I mean, points for creativity, but he was forward rolling and cartwheeling all over the place. I can’t tell you how many chairs and tables he knocked over. It just wasn’t safe for the audience.”
“Professor Paglia wanted to do standup financial comedy, but that didn’t work so well either. I know he’s been practicing for months, but it was just like being in one of his classes: I kept falling asleep.”
“Rajan Kalra was going to do a hair care demo. His audition was actually really good: he did three frostings, two colorings and a perm in about 10 minutes. He really has a gift for that sort of thing. It’s too bad he pulled a no-show at the last minute. Something about not wanting to miss ‘Lost’.”
“What a shame. I mean, hasn’t he ever heard of TiVo?”
“I had high hopes for Dean Livingstone’s baton twirling. It started really well, but after having to pull that baton out of the ceiling for the third time, I was getting nervous. After nearly decapitating Zach Pond she finally said something about a meeting and left.”
“A little after that, Professor Seaman wandered back in with a big box and started setting up for a new audition. He told me it was a juggling act, and I could already feel the migraine coming on. Then he told me the specifics: it was a *cat* juggling act!”
“Good thing Professor Weisdorn was in the room.”
“Quicker than you can say “What Say You, Sammy?” he was out of there.”
“So there I was, wondering what else could go wrong, and Professor Weisdorn starts talking about her act. I'm trying to focus, but I keep getting distracted by this huge trunk she's dragged in with her. There's something thrashing around inside of it. Whatever’s inside, it’s big and it’s *angry*. Then I hear Professor Weisdorn saying something about alligator wrestling.”
“I made the executive decision right there: No animal acts at Pepperjam!”
“Naturally, she wasn’t too happy about that. But hey, after the incident with Lindsay Lockhart and that shark (“Student Involved in Malibu Shark Attack” 11/21/07), I figured the ASPCA already had us on probation, so we had to watch it. At least that’s what I told Professor Weisdorn.”
“There were a couple of other notable acts after that: Professor Carl Gwin was really psyched to show off his chainsaw art demonstration. But he got a little too enthusiastic with the chainsaw. I don’t want to quote numbers, but let’s just say there’s a line item named “repairs” in the Pepperjam budget.
“Professor Williams planned to rip a phone book in half, but as you can imagine, that didn’t work out too well. He was in traction for a week.”
“Doctor Mallinger wanted to do his interpretive dance routine, but I had to shoot that one down too. And for the record it was because the act ran 34 minutes that I had to say no.”
“The leotard had nothing to do with it. Really.”
When questioned about a rumored third tryout by Professor Seaman, Mr. Tanenbaum first tried to deny its occurrence, but eventually became exasperated and ‘fessed up.
“Okay, okay, you got me. Professor Seaman *did* have a third audition, but we’d filled all the slots by then…or so I told him.”
“Look, I’m not too proud of lying to him, but I had to do it! He wanted to do a magic show and one of his tricks was gonna be sawing somebody in half!”
Pepperjam 2009 is scheduled to be held next March. It is strongly recommended that students decline offers by Professsor Seaman to be his 'assistant' in the show, regardless of the amount of extra credit offered.
Monday, March 17, 2008
SCHOLAR ATHLETE!
Matt Kemp (GSBM ’08) certainly had a busy weekend: In addition to working on a finance project, he also drove in three runs for the Dodgers against the Padres. The fact that the game was played in China makes the feat even more impressive. (Editor’s note: I’m not making this up. Check the sports pages.)
As he was out of the country and unavailable for comment, Fly On The Wall tracked down Mr. Kemp’s agent, Jason Faught (GSBM ’08) to learn more details about this most interesting discovery.
“Well, Matt got drafted by the Dodgers back in ’03,” explained Mr. Faught, “but he’s been keeping the whole thing on the down low.”
“Naturally it’s hard to juggle being a Major Leaguer and a full time MBA student. He’s had to cut back his involvement in the finance club, but luckily the professors have been cool about letting him leave early when there’s a night game.”
“Things got a little dicey during the whole insider trading scandal last year (See "Scandal: Insider Trading" 11/27/07). The Dodgers got nervous, and there was talk about Matt being traded. Luckily he was cleared in the end. After all that they wanted him to focus full time on baseball, but Matt wouldn’t give up his dream of being the first full time MBA in the Majors.”
When prodded for a comment about the possibility of Mr. Kemp’s involvement in the Steroid Scandal currently rocking Major League Baseball, Mr. Faught became visibly agitated.
“Steroids? Are you KIDDING me? Just *look* at the guy! Does he look like he’s using steroids??? Gimmie a break!”
Steering the conversation to a less controversial topic, Fly On The Wall then asked Mr. Faught to comment on Matt’s strengths as a ballplayer.
“He’s a five tool player: He might not hit a ton of home runs, but he can still hit for power. He can also run the numbers, field the tough questions, and be a team player when thinking up new strategies. In a pinch, he can also pitch new ideas.”
While chances are good that Mr. Kemp will make the team this season, he is still not guaranteed a spot on the roster after Spring Training.
“Matt understands better than most that it’s a business decision by the club. They might give him a starting position, but they also might option him to the Toledo Mud Hens. So he’s hedging his bets and interviewing with Morgan Stanley and Washington Mutual. He's keeping all his options open.”
Mr. Kemp is expected to be back on campus on Tuesday afternoon. He will be available in the cafeteria between 12:00 and 1:00 to autograph baseball cards.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
ANNOUNCEMENT OF INTENT
The private entity known as Pepgossipboy will be going public this Thursday.
The Initial Pepgossipboy Outing (IPO) will be held at Duke’s from 6-8pm on Thursday March 20th. All are invited to attend.
Pepgossipboy management will be available to discuss historical performance, have a few drinks, and hang out in general.
If you are thinking of attending, please send an email to pepgossipblog@yahoo.com so I have an idea of how many (if any) may attend.
I hope some of you can make it. I'm looking forward to meeting with you.
-Pepgossipboy
The Initial Pepgossipboy Outing (IPO) will be held at Duke’s from 6-8pm on Thursday March 20th. All are invited to attend.Pepgossipboy management will be available to discuss historical performance, have a few drinks, and hang out in general.
If you are thinking of attending, please send an email to pepgossipblog@yahoo.com so I have an idea of how many (if any) may attend.
I hope some of you can make it. I'm looking forward to meeting with you.
-Pepgossipboy
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS!
The transition of power in the GSBM student government was anything but peaceful today, as Presidentita For Life Bre Hayes refused to step down and barricaded herself inside of room P1.
“I laugh at the corrupt election process that dared to try and topple my reign last week!” she announced. “It is all too clear that the people are unfit to vote and I must continue my reign as Presidentita For Life!”
“We really should have seen this coming,” said Dr. Mallinger.
“Bre’s always been a bit out there, but she started getting more and more erratic the last two weeks. You know, all those Presidential Pardons she kept issuing to get out of doing homework and going to classes. “
“But hey, I know all about rank having its privileges, so I let it slide.”
“I think the turning point was that ruckus she raised last Monday about us not having a parade for her on President’s day. She was never quite the same after that.”
“We started finding all these anomalies in the student government budget. Handwritten line items, you know? $3,000 to Zappos, $6,000 to American Eagle, that sort of thing.”
“But the worst was the $60,000 for the Presidential Camaro.”
“I don’t know how I’m gonna explain that one to Dean Livingstone.”
Other students reported similar examples of bizarre behavior by Presidentita For Life Hayes over the last few days.
“I kept seeing her in the bathroom,” recalled Lana Cohen. “Staring at the mirror and mumbling “My fellow Americans” over and over again. Weird.”
“Last night I was getting a coke out of the vending machines,” reported Kaveh Elihu. “Anyway, I hear this loud voice in the cafeteria. I thought it was the TV, but it was Bre.”
“I look in, and she’s waving her arms around and making this crazy speech--to an empty room!”
“She was all over the place: One minute its ‘Friends, Romans and Countrymen’ then it’s all ‘Workers of the world unite!’”
“Next thing you know, she’s babbling about The Great Pumpkin. Dude, it was insane!”
The final evidence that Presidentita Hayes had come completely unglued came early this morning when she stormed P1 and forcibly ejected Professor Paglia and his MBAM614 Finance class. She then declared that P1 would now be known as “Presidentita Palace 1.”
Seeking to defuse the situation, the GSBM administration sent in Negotiation Professor David Torres, who emerged, visibly shaken, after several minutes.
“She’s in for the long haul,” Professor Torres reported. “I saw at least a dozen of boxes of Chocolates, 25 issues of Cosmo, and over 100 pairs of shoes. And she’s prepared to start throwing those shoes too. She means business.”
“Please don’t send me back in there.”
It could not be confirmed at press time whether or not the administration would give in to Presidentita Hayes’ additional demands for a personal parking space, a feather Boa and Nina Tooley’s Pony.
Classes scheduled to be held in room P1 will be moved to L4 for the duration of the crisis.
“I laugh at the corrupt election process that dared to try and topple my reign last week!” she announced. “It is all too clear that the people are unfit to vote and I must continue my reign as Presidentita For Life!”
“We really should have seen this coming,” said Dr. Mallinger.
“Bre’s always been a bit out there, but she started getting more and more erratic the last two weeks. You know, all those Presidential Pardons she kept issuing to get out of doing homework and going to classes. “
“But hey, I know all about rank having its privileges, so I let it slide.”
“I think the turning point was that ruckus she raised last Monday about us not having a parade for her on President’s day. She was never quite the same after that.”
“We started finding all these anomalies in the student government budget. Handwritten line items, you know? $3,000 to Zappos, $6,000 to American Eagle, that sort of thing.”
“But the worst was the $60,000 for the Presidential Camaro.”
“I don’t know how I’m gonna explain that one to Dean Livingstone.”
Other students reported similar examples of bizarre behavior by Presidentita For Life Hayes over the last few days.
“I kept seeing her in the bathroom,” recalled Lana Cohen. “Staring at the mirror and mumbling “My fellow Americans” over and over again. Weird.”
“Last night I was getting a coke out of the vending machines,” reported Kaveh Elihu. “Anyway, I hear this loud voice in the cafeteria. I thought it was the TV, but it was Bre.”
“I look in, and she’s waving her arms around and making this crazy speech--to an empty room!”
“She was all over the place: One minute its ‘Friends, Romans and Countrymen’ then it’s all ‘Workers of the world unite!’”
“Next thing you know, she’s babbling about The Great Pumpkin. Dude, it was insane!”
The final evidence that Presidentita Hayes had come completely unglued came early this morning when she stormed P1 and forcibly ejected Professor Paglia and his MBAM614 Finance class. She then declared that P1 would now be known as “Presidentita Palace 1.”
Seeking to defuse the situation, the GSBM administration sent in Negotiation Professor David Torres, who emerged, visibly shaken, after several minutes.
“She’s in for the long haul,” Professor Torres reported. “I saw at least a dozen of boxes of Chocolates, 25 issues of Cosmo, and over 100 pairs of shoes. And she’s prepared to start throwing those shoes too. She means business.”
“Please don’t send me back in there.”
It could not be confirmed at press time whether or not the administration would give in to Presidentita Hayes’ additional demands for a personal parking space, a feather Boa and Nina Tooley’s Pony.
Classes scheduled to be held in room P1 will be moved to L4 for the duration of the crisis.
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