CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS!

The transition of power in the GSBM student government was anything but peaceful today, as Presidentita For Life Bre Hayes refused to step down and barricaded herself inside of room P1.

“I laugh at the corrupt election process that dared to try and topple my reign last week!” she announced. “It is all too clear that the people are unfit to vote and I must continue my reign as Presidentita For Life!”

“We really should have seen this coming,” said Dr. Mallinger.

“Bre’s always been a bit out there, but she started getting more and more erratic the last two weeks. You know, all those Presidential Pardons she kept issuing to get out of doing homework and going to classes. “

“But hey, I know all about rank having its privileges, so I let it slide.”

“I think the turning point was that ruckus she raised last Monday about us not having a parade for her on President’s day. She was never quite the same after that.”

“We started finding all these anomalies in the student government budget. Handwritten line items, you know? $3,000 to Zappos, $6,000 to American Eagle, that sort of thing.”

“But the worst was the $60,000 for the Presidential Camaro.”

“I don’t know how I’m gonna explain that one to Dean Livingstone.”

Other students reported similar examples of bizarre behavior by Presidentita For Life Hayes over the last few days.

“I kept seeing her in the bathroom,” recalled Lana Cohen. “Staring at the mirror and mumbling “My fellow Americans” over and over again. Weird.”

“Last night I was getting a coke out of the vending machines,” reported Kaveh Elihu. “Anyway, I hear this loud voice in the cafeteria. I thought it was the TV, but it was Bre.”

“I look in, and she’s waving her arms around and making this crazy speech--to an empty room!”

“She was all over the place: One minute its ‘Friends, Romans and Countrymen’ then it’s all ‘Workers of the world unite!’”

“Next thing you know, she’s babbling about The Great Pumpkin. Dude, it was insane!”

The final evidence that Presidentita Hayes had come completely unglued came early this morning when she stormed P1 and forcibly ejected Professor Paglia and his MBAM614 Finance class. She then declared that P1 would now be known as “Presidentita Palace 1.”

Seeking to defuse the situation, the GSBM administration sent in Negotiation Professor David Torres, who emerged, visibly shaken, after several minutes.

“She’s in for the long haul,” Professor Torres reported. “I saw at least a dozen of boxes of Chocolates, 25 issues of Cosmo, and over 100 pairs of shoes. And she’s prepared to start throwing those shoes too. She means business.”

“Please don’t send me back in there.”

It could not be confirmed at press time whether or not the administration would give in to Presidentita Hayes’ additional demands for a personal parking space, a feather Boa and Nina Tooley’s Pony.

Classes scheduled to be held in room P1 will be moved to L4 for the duration of the crisis.