CLASSIC MIKE

The beard is gone, the hair is tousled, and that familiar wild look has returned to his eyes.

That’s right, after a spectacularly unsuccessful rebranding campaign, Classic Mike Tanenbaum is back!



“In doing the market research, focus groups were not told that New Mike ("What's News", 1/8/08) would permanently be replacing Classic Mike,” said newly hired publicist Emalie Brogch.

“While research indicated the market would embrace New Mike, we quickly discovered that Corporate America was not at all fond of the new look.”

“More importantly, the vital 24-36 year old female demographic was also less than thrilled with the look of New Mike and demanded a return to the status quo.”

“His mother was never too hot on the idea either.”

Ms. Brgoch laughed at accusations that the entire New Mike/Classic Mike campaign was merely a clever marketing ploy to enhance the Michael Tanenbaum brand.

“Oh come on! He’s not smart or stupid enough to pull off a stunt like that!”

Mr. Tanenbaum was unavailable for comment.