“Due to the outrageous abuses of power, I demand that Bre Hayes steps aside immediately. Having come in second place in the last election, it is perfectly logical that the leadership position should go to me.”
When asked by Fly On The Wall what he would do differently, Mr. Pond became evasive and only made general statements about it being “his turn”.
When queried about the idea of free and open elections he became agitated and began shouting: “These weak minded sheep cannot handle such responsibility…they need to be told what to do!”
Foaming at the mouth, he continued, “I shall abolish the office of President entirely!!! The mongrel populace shall address me by my true and proper title: Zach Pond, Maximum Leader!!!”
When reached for comment, Presidentita For Life Bre Hayes responded that she and her two newest cabinet members, Gucci and Prada, are looking forward to dealing with Mr. Pond as soon as possible.
“I welcome the opportunity for all us to sit down and discuss this matter. My dispute resolution specialists are chomping at the bit. I can’t wait to turn them loose and watch them sink their teeth into this matter!"Maximum Leader Pond was unavailable for further comment, and has reportedly gone into hiding.
2 comments:
I know for a fact that Gucci and Mr. Pond have a special bond that goes back at least a year. Therefore, I am led to believe that his membership in the cabinet described is but a ruse.
Hmm...Fly On The Wall will have to investigate this connection more closely.
Thanks for the tip.
-Pepgossipboy
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