Chaos reigned in the Professors’ break room early this morning when a bag of catnip fell out of Professor Gia Weisdorn’s handbag.
“It was a quiet morning,” said Professor Kent Rhodes. “A bunch of us sitting around, having coffee and laughing about Paul Pinckney’s football pool. Professor Atwater was talking smack all last week about his super duper CRPR football pool picker, and after the weekend, well, let’s just say he was eating some major crow.”“Professor Weisdorn is laughing so hard she drops her handbag and this little baggie falls out. The room goes SILENT and everyone gets real still. Well, except for Professor Seaman; his eyes lit up and he got all hyper for some reason.”
“The place went nuts. Dean Livingstone just about lost it and ran screaming from the room. I think all these scandals are starting to get to her.”
“It was total pandemonium for a while,” said Professor Shane Moshiri. “Everyone was shouting and running around. Professor Weisdorn trying to explain, Professor Seaman trying to steal the catnip, and Professor Atwater trying to sneak out without paying up on his football bets. Pure chaos.”
“First Professor Weisdorn said she was holding it for a friend.” Reported Professor Peggy Crawford. “Then she says it’s medicinal catnip and she has a prescription. A couple of minutes later the story changes *again* and she’s telling us it’s no big deal because California has a policy of non-enforcement anyway.”
“She finally admitted that the catnip was hers. But she said she was just experimenting. You know, a one time thing.”
“After we heard that, everyone calmed down,” said Professor Rhodes. “Professor Seaman wandered off to play ping pong and Professor Atwater started babbling about that CRPR thing to anyone who would listen. It’s the same every week: We all smile and nod, but none of us have any idea what he's talking about.”
“Anyways, we all had a laugh about the whole thing afterwards. You know, how we all overreacted. I mean, come on, it’s just a little catnip. Harmless. It’s not like she has a problem with it or anything. Besides, she has four dogs, right?”
No comments:
Post a Comment