“The professors had been kicking around the idea for a while,” said Jamie Wood, who is directing the spectacular. “Originally they wanted to do the Nutcracker Suite, but, well, we didn’t exactly have the right material to work with there, if you know what I mean.”
“The idea of some of the professors in a tutu…let’s not go there.”
Casting calls were held just after Thanksgiving, and the lucky selectees have been practicing ever since.
“Professor Charles Morrissey was born to play Scrooge,” says Dr. Mallinger. “The way he scowls and growls ‘bah Humbug’, he’s a natural!”“Now if we could only get him to stop calling Tiny Tim a juvenile delinquent...”
“But enough talk about Professor Morrissey. Let’s talk more about me. I’m playing the Ghost of Christmas Past, which of course is the most important of the three. It’s the most under appreciated character in the play, and if I do say so, I think I’m going to steal the show. I have a SAG card, you know.”
When asked to comment further on the other two Christmas ghosts, a petulant Dr. Mallinger continued: “Well, Professor Steffl is playing Christmas Present, and he’s doing a good job, but with less élan than moi, of course.”
“Professor Wally Jones, on the other hand, is totally overdoing it as the Ghost of Christmas Future. I mean, I know he’s excited to be wearing that hooded cloak and all, but look at the binder he’s carrying with him. He has about 80 pages of detailed blocking instructions and has choreographed every minute detail of his performance. You gotta be kidding me. I mean, come on! He’s on stage for 30 seconds, and all he has to do is point his finger at a stupid tombstone! He doesn’t even *say* anything! Can’t he keep things simple for once?”Leaving Dr. Mallinger's continued ranting, Fly On The Wall next approached Professor Torres to ask him about his take on the production.
“I’m pleased as punch to be playing the part of Jacob Marley”, he began. “You know, laying it all out for Scrooge and giving him a chance to look inward at himself. Showing him how he can change from a miserable miser to a happy person…it’s just like my Negotiations and Resolution class that I’ll be teaching in the spring, which in addition to being a great class on its own, also fulfills the Applied Behavior requirement.”When asked to comment further about the play, he continued, “Professor McPeak is a great Bob Cratchit when he can remember his lines, which isn’t too often. But he’s getting better at ad-libbing. Whenever he forgets a line, he starts speaking in another language, and then we know to help him out. It makes things interesting.”
“Professor Williams is playing the part of Scrooge’s happy-go-lucky nephew, Fred. That one’s a no-brainer.”When asked about reports of Professor Seaman acting like a prima donna, Professor Torres chose his words carefully. “Well, Tiny Tim is a central character, so he naturally attracts a lot of attention…which suits Professor Seaman just fine.”
“Deep down, I think it’s Sammy’s insecurities that are making him act out. I think he’s afraid of being typecast. He really should take my Negotiation and Resolution course. Did I mention it meets at 1pm on Wednesdays?”
Performances will be held at 8pm on December 21st and 22nd. Tickets are $20 in advance and $25 at the door.
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